This past Easter we had the greatest Easter egg hunting experience ever known to man. Imagine Elmer Fudd crossed with Clint Eastwood; that was Phil and Alex. Next imagine an innocent version of the Easter bunny that had to wise up quick styles; that was Hayley.
Twas the night before Easter and Alex and I went out for adventure while Hayley was at a wedding reception. We decided to see what St. George had to offer, but ended up at Wal-Mart. Irony? Perhaps.
While in Wal-Mart we purchased an Easter basket for Hayley, some candy, some plastic eggs and three dart-shotguns. One was a double barreled model that we both already own. We've affectionately named it "the gospel."
"Ya got one barrel of justice and one barrel of mercy. Pick yer barrel pilgram!"
The other two were matching, clip fed, lever action beauties that we named "the Dukes of Hazard." We also picked up a couple of bandannas and went back to Hayley's to rendezvous with her.
On our way back Alex called Hayley and instructed her to shut herself in her room; we had a surprise for her. We arrived, hid a bunch of eggs around the house, tested our new toys and then went to Hayley's room to give her a few supplies and instructions. We strode into her domain carrying an Easter basket, a bandanna, and "the gospel." Our instructions were as follows:
"Here's a bandanna; put it on. We've hidden several eggs throughout the house. One of them is a golden egg. When you find the golden egg the hunt is over. It's like your golden snitch. Here's the shotgun. Her name is "the gospel." Treat her well and she'll treat you well. Count to forty and come on out."
Somewhat bewildered, but definitely on to us Hayley began counting. We ran out, cowboyed up, and waited for her to come out. As soon as she came out we lit her up like Christmas morning!
The hunt lasted for a good 10-15 minutes. A few shots were exchanged, but the majority of the hunt was just us blasting her. She got crafty and started stuffing the darts in places where our hands could not go, but we managed to keep up the onslaught with a depleted supply of ammunition. To those of you who think we are heartless and messed up... Well, you may be right, but Hayley was a great sport, and she was laughing the whole time. Plus she got to keep all the candy. Eventually she found the golden egg and the hunt ended. She stopped hunting eggs and we stopped hunting her.
Alex and I have decided that we are going to do this with our kids every year. Only we are going to invest in fully automatic Nerf guns and will probably end up constructing a battle zone that would make the designers of American Gladiator wet at the mouth. We're thinking hunt on Saturday, get some R&R (Rest and Repentance) on Sunday.
Here's to a good memory.
Now reach for the sky pilgrim!
(Please note what a B.A. Alex is. He has just shot a dart which is about to hit the camera.)